And don’t we know it? The sound of an apple being eaten or worse, a crisp – used to drive me mad.
People who drive their car in such a way that they don’t let you out of a side road because it just so happens, they are looking ahead at something very important. Or people who take their time when you are in a hurry, or talk very loudly into a mobile phone.
All these things used to guarantee that my blood pressure would rise. But over time, I’ve understood that maybe I’m part of my problem. I can’t control the world, and other people are – after all, they are other people. They’re not all going to share my way of doing things, and anyway, who am I to impose things on others? I read somewhere that the things that annoy us most about other people may reveal something about ourselves and our need to control.
I also realised that most people who offend me probably don’t mean it. Well, perhaps a few do – I can be pretty annoying myself. No, what I mean is that if I just accept that that’s where they are, then my stress levels reduce. That driver who stares ahead instead of letting me out must have a reason – something has made them act that way. If I accept that some people, by nature, are what they are, then a bit of me becomes more understanding, and I can grow.
So I actively disincentivised myself from being apoplectic about hearing apples or crisps being eaten. The funny thing is that it’s not that difficult. It’s a decision you make, and it feels quite rewarding to deal with it, and you can deal with it.
The person who walks slowly in front of me in the High Street hasn’t set out to offend me. It’s me who has the problem, and the sooner I learn to be more patient with others, the quicker I will understand them. The world is a great teacher if I’m ready to learn. I can consciously be empathetic and start to appreciate that it’s not all about me.
I wish I could have been more like this when I was younger, but hey, you’ve got to start somewhere.
The amazing thing is not that you can train yourself to do this, but that it extends to other areas of your life. I still get impatient, well, none of us is perfect, but it makes me more at ease. Now I’m working on the phrase, “I was sat there.” My schooling wants it to be “sitting,” but I’m appreciating that words adapt over time, and it’s now acceptable to use the term.
And I can’t help thinking that laughing at yourself is probably good for you, so here endeth my preaching!
