Every day we come across other people; some we know and others are complete strangers. Most we don’t have time or interest to connect with, while others might create a brief chat. I was just in a queue at Costa Coffee in Tesco, and a lady forgot what she wanted to order. We all laughed because it’s a common thing, especially after a certain age. We laughed only because the lady herself laughed, which gave us permission. It was only in passing, and we are unlikely to meet again, but just for a moment, we connected as human beings.
I like that feeling of being part of the world. If I’m on a walk, which admittedly is most days, I meet people coming the other way. Usually, I signal that I’m friendly by smiling at them when I get close, often adding “morning” or “afternoon” with a rising inflexion. Most times I get the same back, but sometimes they look startled that I should speak or put their head down and ignore me. I don’t think I’m creepy, but who knows what is going on in their lives. And maybe they misinterpret my friendliness.
If we join something new, we accept that it’s going to be tricky at first to get to know the other people. Often, it can take years before you are “accepted” in some groups. Or in a new house. Isn’t it great when new neighbours show an interest in you, and hey presto, you have a connection. Holidays also throw up opportunities to get to know people. “Have you tried the restaurant on the corner?” sort of thing.
They say allowing yourself to be vulnerable and opening up brings you closer to people, but that’s not something we’d rush into. Equally, some people are best avoided if only for our own protection. I’m thinking here of those who endlessly talk about themselves and seem unaware of others. Also, aggressive people who seem to be carrying a chip on their shoulder. You can’t like everyone.
As I said last week, I think laughter is great. And what a way to share. It reminds us that we have things in common. Laughing after all releases endorphins, so we feel better for it.
Finally, the connection you make when you meet your life partner? There you are, living your life, and suddenly out of nowhere (or sometimes gradually) you realise, OMG, this is special. Then I think you enter a new dimension and you find not only someone to connect with, but someone who you can have so many different connections on different levels. And theatre work is a great place to bring all that together.
