When I was at school, we had an assembly every morning. The head teacher would sweep in in a gown, and there would be prayers, a hymn, and messages about the football team. It was very different back then. Something about everyone being so silent and still made me want to shout out and surprise them all. Perhaps I just wanted attention, but I think it was more than that. I found the sense of overwhelming control a bit oppressive. It was a reaction inside.
I’ve carried that crazy impulse to play against the things around me. But of course, it’s in my head. Much as I’d like to, I don’t think I’ll walk into the coffee shop and suddenly turn it into an operatic solo. “I want to order a decaf latte if you please.” Although I would enjoy the look of shock, surprise, humour, or fear that would come from the barista. I do that sometimes in Starbucks, where they always ask my name, and I say, “James Bond” and see what reaction I get. Don’t we all have moments where we want to shake things up a bit? What about in the car when someone zigzags ahead of you on the motorway, don’t we react?
I know a few musical songs, maybe I could try out a number from Rent or Chicago in the bread aisle of Tesco’s. You never know, it might cause enough of a conniption to get others to join in. After all, it sometimes happens spontaneously in queues, “Why are we waiting, why are we waiting” to the tune of “Oh Come All Ye Faithful.” And where would football be without people singing out?
In my acting classes, I often shake things up. I’ll whisper to an actor, “Leave the room in the scene.” They do so, and it’s fascinating to see how the other actor deals with it. Do they follow them, or do they just stand there? I can tell you that when they follow, the scene goes up a gear in the corridor, or on the stairs, or even outside.
A few years ago, flash mobs were all the rage. At Theatretrain, we did a few. We got a big crowd of students together in London and suddenly popped up in Waterloo Station with our song, “Calling all Stations” and Trafalgar Square, Covent Garden and the Tower of London. These days, though, it’s harder to shock people. You can suddenly pop up, and people very quickly accept it – oh no, another flash mob. I think that’s why they went out of fashion.
You may have seen Channel 4’s Piano programme, where a piano was left at a railway terminus, and various people wandered up to play. Some were astonishingly good. And the new second series of Your Song, which launched recently on Channel 4, brings private singers to public places. Good luck to them, but I think my Tesco debut will stay on the back burner.




