One of the questions parents ask me from time to time is:
“How do I know if they’re actually enjoying it?”
It’s a fair question.
Especially if your child isn’t someone who talks a lot about their day.
As adults, we tend to expect enjoyment to sound something like:
“It was amazing!”
“Can I tell you everything we did?”
But children don’t always work like that.
The conversation that made me smile
My son Oliver loves singing and dancing.
A little while ago he went to a workshop based on the musical SIX.
When I picked him up, I asked the question every parent asks:
“Did you enjoy it?”
His answer?
“Yeah.”
That was it.
No dramatic excitement.
No detailed explanation.
Just one word.
If I’d judged the workshop on that answer alone, I’d probably have thought it had been… fine.
But over the next week, our house became one long SIX concert.
He sang the songs constantly.
He performed little bits while wandering through the kitchen.
He couldn’t stop talking about different moments from the day.
Without realising it, he was telling me exactly how much he’d enjoyed himself.
Just not in the car on the way home.
Children often show you before they tell you
Over the years, I’ve noticed the same thing with lots of children.
Sometimes the biggest clues don’t come from what they say.
They come from what they do afterwards.
Signs your child is genuinely enjoying an activity
Every child is different, but here are some of the things parents often notice:
- They recreate what they’ve learnt at home.
- They sing songs or repeat lines without being asked.
- They practise routines in the living room.
- They talk about new friends they’ve made.
- They ask when they’re going back.
- They count down to the next session.
- They’re disappointed if they have to miss a week.
Those behaviours often tell you far more than a simple answer to, “Did you have fun?”
Give the conversation time
One thing I’ve learnt as both a parent and a Theatretrain Director is that children don’t always process experiences immediately.
Some chat non-stop the moment they leave.
Others need a little time before the stories start appearing.
It might happen over dinner.
In the bath.
Or completely out of the blue three days later.
That’s perfectly normal.
So… how do you know?
Rather than focusing on the words they use straight after an activity, watch what happens over the next few days.
Do they mention it again?
Do they recreate it at home?
Do they look forward to going back?
Behaviour often tells us much more than a one-word answer ever could.
Sometimes the biggest sign that a child loves something isn’t what they say.
It’s what they can’t stop doing afterwards.
So… should you judge after one session?
Sometimes a child walks in and instantly feels at home.
Sometimes they don’t.
Neither tells you very much about how they’ll feel a few weeks later.
Over the years, I’ve learnt that some of the children who looked the most uncertain during their first session have gone on to become some of our most confident performers.
Quiet beginnings don’t always stay quiet.
Sometimes they just need a little more time.
